Hi! My name is Cheri and I'll be your server.....

"Hi! My name is Cheri and I'll be your server tonight. May I take your drink order or get you started on some appetizers? We have some really good onion rings or jalapeno shooters."
For the past two years, I have repeated this phrase over and over.....not only do I teach school, but I also work at Crossfire Cafe as a server/waitress...choose whichever you choose to call me. The word server sounds more like fancy schmancy restaurant or someone who goes to church all the time....and waitress pretty much reminds me of the ladies who work at Jake and Dorothy's in Stephenville...walking around taking orders with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth! Well...here's hoping not to offend anyone...and maybe make a few helpful suggestions on your next eating out experience!
The following experiences are true...the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Me - "Would you like water with your beer/tea/margarita/wine?"
Jill - "Oh...no...I don't need any water."
Me - I hurry off to wait on other tables...running food back and forth when I see Jill waving at me.
Jill - "You know...I do believe I want some water."
Me - (smiling) "Of course let me get that for you. Have you decided what you want to order for your meal?"
Jill - "Yes...I want the filet....medium rare...well maybe just medium....hmmmmmmmm...if I order medium and it is too done then I won't like it. Let me just order medium rare. Is that very red in the middle....oh....let me think....yes....medium rare."
Me- "What two sides do you want? You get two sides and a salad. Our sides are baked potato, mashed potatoes, french fries, green beans, fried okra or green chile grits."
Jill- "You know I think I want to change my order....Jack you order first."
Jack - "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...Okay....well.....let....me.....see....hmmmmmmmmmmm...How big is that filet?"
Me- "It's 6 - 8 ounces."
Jack- "Well how big is the ribeye?"
Me- "It's 12 ounces."
Jack- "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Let me see. Which one would you get?"
Me - "My favorite is the filet! (smiling...as I look around at 3 other tables who need my help)"
Jack- "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....do you think I would like it? I think I'll get the ribeye cooked medium rare. Now is that still red in the middle?"
Me - "Yes...it will be a bit pink. What two sides do you want?"
Jack - "Now, what are your sides?"
Me - "Baked potato, mashed potatoes, french fries, green beans, fried okra, and grits. You also get a salad"
Jack - "How are the french fries cut? Are they frozen?"
Me - "We actually peel the potatoes and put them through a french fry cutter."
Jack- "What about the mashed potatoes.....are they from a box?"
Me - "No. We boil our potatoes and then mash them...just like Grandma!"
Jack- "I think I'll take a baked potato. What comes on them?"
Me - "Butter, sour cream, bacon and cheese."
Jack - "Well, well, well....so much for the diet! Let's just get it loaded. And then I'll take the fried okra. But could you get them to fry it and make sure it is crispy but not burnt?"
Me- "Yes. What kind of salad dressing would you like? We have Ranch, Thousand Island, Vinaigrette, Blue Cheese and Honey Mustard "
Jack-"I want French."
Me -" Sir, we don't have French."
Jack-"Oh....no.....I just don't even want a salad if you don't have French. I can't believe you don't have French. Do they not have any anywhere???"
Me - "No, sir. I'm sorry." (I look up to see impatient customers sitting in my section...and decide to hurry the process along.) Okay, maam...have you decided what you wanted to eat?"
Jill- "Well, it all looks so good. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....let me see. Jack did you get the ribeye or the filet?"
Jack - "Ribeye"
Jill - "Hmmm. This is so hard. I want the filet, but I think I've decided I want it medium. Could you ask them not to make sure there is no fat on it and not to cook it near any fat or use any butter?"
Me - "Sure. Now what two sides did you want?"
Jill - "Now what are the sides again?"
Me -"Baked potato, mashed potatoes, french fries, green beans, fried okra, or green chile grits. You get two sides and a salad."
Jill - "Hmmmmmmmmmm. I want green beans, but no butter on them. And I want a baked potato with sour cream only on it. Could they put just a few little pieces of cheese on it?"
Me- "Sure. Now what about a salad dressing?"
Jill - "Hmmmmmmmm. Do you have a diet dressing?"
Me- "No...."(It's getting close to closing and I have 3 more tables to wait on!)
Jill - "Well....just get me Ranch on the side. I don't want onions."
Me - "Ok....Is there anything else?"
Jack-"You know....I think I will get a salad with Ranch, no Honey Mustard, no just put Ranch on the salad. And I need to change my fried okra to french fries. I'll just share those with our little Junior. He is also out of formula. Could you take this back to the kitchen and warm his milk for him? And we never did get that water we asked for! Could you bring us some water? And could you put some in a little Styrofoam cup for little Junior?"
Me - "Of course I will!" (order placed....and finally brought to the customers )
Me - "Is there anything else you need?"
Jill-" Yes...we need napkins."
Me -" Sure ...let me get you some. Can you think of anything else?"
Jill -"No...just napkins." (I go to fetch napkins and return with a buttload of them for little Junior to tear up...I'm sure.)
Jill - "Oh, thank you. But could you go get us some ketchup?"
Me- "Of course....are you sure there is nothing else?"
Jill- "That should do it." (I hurry for the ketchup and return.)
Jack - "I could use a beer. Could you go order one? What kind do you have on draft?"
Me- "Bud lite, Coors lite, Miller Lite and Ziggenbauch (sp?????) Are you a member of our club? We are a private club and can only serve alcohol to members."
Jack - "I don't remember."
Me - "Could I run your driver's license?'
Jack -"What???? Can't you see I'm over 21???? "
Me - "Sir, it is our policy. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."
Jack -"Here...I'll take a Bud Lite."
I return with a member ship card to sign and the happy couple eat and drink as they give little Junior french fries and bread and an empty styrofoam cup....all the while little Junior is throwing french fries on the floor, along with his bread, torn up napkin and tiny pieces of styrofoam that he has nibbled and spit out. While waiting, I fill their glasses up 6 times with tea, four times with water, grab another beer and refill their bread basket even though they still had four pieces of bread in it...yet insisted on needing more bread.) They loved their food...Jack and Jill were full and happy...said..."Best steak we've ever had!" I smile but once they leave, it looks as if little Junior has had a field day under the table....the floor is covered in napkins, french fries, bread and styrofoam. The styrofoam pieces are so tiny they evade me as I try to sweep them up.
Best of all....this $60 table leaves me a whopping $3.00 tip. I pick it up and clean my area.
At the end of the night after I've waited on 12 - 15 different tables and filled countless tea/water glasses or run to the bar for a drink...after I've visited with at least 45 people or repeated the sides at least 40 times...after I've cleaned my tables and swept the floor...after we've mopped our areas and run our reports, I add my tips up....sometimes I'm quite pleased. Then, there are some nights that are just a little disappointing.....but on those nights, I always tell myself..."Cheri, that's $45 more than you had when you came out." I check out....grab my apron and book that contains my tip money...walk to the car and hope that tomorrow will be a better night!

My New Bra

What the heck????? So, here's the deal....... Cari gave me some of her old bras after she gave birth in October. Boobs grow during pregnancy and after (if you breastfeed). After Tritstin came along, she had grown out of her bras, so she handed them down to me....hand-me-down bras. She gave me several and most of them were just a bit too small and worn. You know how you get attached to bras...I'm thinking she just wanted them to be given to someone who would take care of them...anyway, I did keep some of them, which is quite exciting because the cost of a bra can easily equal 1/4 of a days work! This morning I grabbed one of her hand-me-down bras and put it on. It fit great...however, after I put on my shirt, I realized the straps were a little tight. I started working on it, trying to find the contraption that loosens or tightens it. So, I've got my shirt pulled over at the neck working away on this "new bra" and I notice a little snap at the bottom of my front strap.....I mashed the snap and OMG......I realized I HAD ON A NURSING BRA!!!!! It was too late to change, so I wore it to school and laughed about it all day! I'm thinking you're never too old to wear a nursing bra.....and it was a great conversation piece!!!!

Words with Friends

Lately I've become addicted to WORDS WITH FRIENDS. It's not the type of addiction that calls for rehab or at least not yet. Hi. My name is Cheri. I am a wordaholic. I know it can be quite irritating to those around me. I sometimes take my iPhone to the lunchroom with me (the office might call) and I try to sneak in a few words while munching on a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. I took it to the library the other day while Kayla and I listened to 33 third graders read the bibliographies they had written and show the creature in camouflage they had created in science. The temptation overtook me after the 7th child tried to read their own handwriting and I let my addiction take over. After about three plays and a dirty look from Kayla, I took my phone back to the room and left it there. I had a major anxiety/separation attack, but Kayla assured me it would be okay. My addiction is also very irritating to Donald. I think the fact that my phone dings at odd hours of the night with the night owls I play against is about to get the best of him. Regardless...I love the game! I've actually expanded my vocabulary. I'm sharing some of my favorite WORDS and their definitions! I'll begin with my favorite new word.......fard.

• FARD - to paint the face with cosmetics
• DIPT - transitive verb or intransitive verb of dip....(that's right...dipped or dipt..who'd of thunk????)
• AHI - there, near the listener
• QI - pronounced chi. Chinese word for natural energy of the universe ( the Q is worth 10 points. And if you're lucky...you can place it on a DW (double word) or TW (triple word)
• RETE - network of blood vessels
• LWEI - name of a network of rivers in Angola
• FER - another word/dialect for FOR! (I'm thinking maybe Texan dialect...Whatcha wanna do that fer?)

I'm hoping my sister gets an iPhone for her birthday...she is a mean scrabble player and I'm thinking we could really get into some games during the summer! Well...I'm off....I think I need to fard.

WARNING!!!! FIRE HAZARD!

I don't know if any of you have seen the news reports or read of the massive amounts of schools that have burned because of children's work that has been hung on the walls of teachers who were ignorant. These teachers had no idea that if they hung their student's stories or proudly drawn artwork that a fire would attack these pieces of work and cause the school burn down! It's so sad! I've spent hours reading and grieving for all the schools that have burned (Haven't you?). And all because of these crazy teachers who wanted to show their student's work! Another reason all these school are burning is because some teachers are ignorant enough to actually bring a couch into their classroom. Nevermind that children love to sit on the couch and snuggle up with a good book and let their imagination wander into never-never land! Or, too bad that some children get sick at school and find comfort taking a nap or resting on the teacher's couch. None of that matters....all that matters is that ALL TEACHERS MUST GET RID OF COUCHES BECAUSE THEY ARE A FIRE HAZARD! It doesn't matter that these children spend hours at school and that some teachers try to make their classroom homey with a couch or the student's work or decorative posters hanging on the walls. No no no no no!!!! We must save all schools from burning. We must make our rooms sparse and lifeless. Take all the artwork from the halls. Take ribbons and pictures off the lockers! We are losing too many schools because of these teachers who have the nerve to include these hazardous items in their rooms. The good news is...our school will be safe! The FIRE MARSHALL has blessed us with his presence and opened our eyes to our ignorance. Our school will take all the papers off the doors (you know...IF there is a fire in the hall, the door will burn faster if the papers on the door catch fire). We will be free of self-portraits adorning our lockers. We will only hang papers on the bulletin board. We will nevermore hang artsy/craftsy decor from our ceilings (for fear of fire). We will rid our rooms of the soft old couch that children love to sit on. I even loaded my old couch up on Saturday and deposited her at the dump! I shed a few tears as we dropped the couch off....lots of stories have been read on that old couch....a few naps have been taken because of a child with a headache.....lots of comforting has been done because of hurt feelings at school..... but that really doesn't matter now, does it???? I'm wondering what we will do with all the books in our rooms? I certainly hope they aren't considered a fire hazard!

TOMS - ONE FOR ONE

I went shopping a few weeks ago and bought myself some new shoes. I had looked for TOMS last summer, but couldn't find them in my size. I found a place in Waco near the Baylor campus that sold them and I treated myself to a pair of black ones. I had no idea how much I would like them. They are wonderful and "with every pair you purchase, TOMS will give a pair of new shoes to a child in need. One for One." What a cool idea! These are now my favorite shoes...not too dressy, but comfy deluxe!

So on Saturday I took Dillan to Barton Creek Square Mall in Austin after the band contest and we found them at Nordstom. I chose a new pair of olive TOMS...too cute! Dillan even bought a pair of black ones, but first he called Will to make sure he was okay with him buying the "same color" Will had! You can see how much I've worn the black ones...they are already dirty! This summer, I plan to buy some and try to paint them! Anyway, so I figure I've helped to donate three pairs of shoes to a child in need...makes me feel better about buying new shoes!

Peace, Love and Boots

On Saturday Donald and I went to San Saba to Harry's.....a western store that has been there for years. I love the way the old wooden floors creak and how the store smells of leather! A few years ago his brother bought Harry's. They've spent lots of time and money renovating the store. There are like four sections downstairs....men's boots, men's clothing, children's boots and clothing, and women's boots and clothing. Upstairs has another section where you can find a vast array of hats..Bonanza hats...old man hats...George Strait hats...felt hats...floating down the river hats..even $1000 hats!!!! Donald immediately went upstairs to try on hats....he doesn't need one, BUT I'm sure he felt compelled to try as many on as he could. He even tried some on identical to ones he owns....I told the salesman that NOW I knew what it was like for a man to wait on a woman in a shoe store! Well...speaking of shoes....we ventured down the creaky staircase and I decided to go look at the boots...just one more time. I've looked for months for a new pair of boots. Well, Saturday was my lucky day. I found a pair that I absolutely fell head over heels in love with. I grabbed them...I pulled them on and walked in them. They were perfect! We bought them and I wore them to the Sweetest Loop dance on Saturday night. Everyone loved them! When I showed them to Dillan....he was even impressed! I've got to find something to wear with them now......