Contacts

Okay...so I'm as old as..well...let's just say I'm over half a century (ouch). For some weird reason, I decided I should try contact lenses. Today was my first day. I had to go for a "tutorial" and it was embarrassing. I nearly failed. I know I frustrated the he!! out of the poor "tutor". I could not get the fricking contact in my left eye. I got the right contact in after three tries. But, OMG, I could not get in the left. I wanted to cry. I was so mad at myself. I know the lady that was helping me was thinking "This is the oldest woman in the world to come in and try to wear contacts. As old as she is, surely she can get the darn thing in her eye." I know I heard those words come out of her! I know she felt the same way I do when I try to teach a third grader how to explain multiplication and they can't! "Sweetheart, can you show me with your tiles how you multiply 5 x 2?" For some reason, they can't show me! "Honey, make five groups of two" and they come up with two groups of four. It drives me crazy and this is what I was doing to this lady today. She kept telling me to open my eye when I was putting the contact in, but my eyelids would not cooperate....at all. It is abnormal to keep your eye open when your finger is headed toward it! After about 15 attempts, I finally got the lefty in....I was elated and then she told me to take them out and do it all over again. I obeyed, unwillingly. And I finally got the hang of it. However, I had no makeup left under my eyes and I had wiped half of my eye shadow off. I looked like a clown...an OLD clown. I wore them for the prescribed 5 hours and I was able to get them out without calling 911! Mission accomplished...now we'll see about tomorrow!