I'm Warning YOU!

What a weekend! I rose with the sun on Saturday morning....4:30 a.m. to be exact! Donald was off bright and early and I decided to get on the road and head to Lisa's in LaGrange.....really we had grand plans of heading to Warrington, Texas....home of one of the largest antique fairs ever...the Warrington/Round Top Antique Fair. You may be asking yourself why I have a picture of a yellow porta-potty. That is my story....and let this statement be on the record....I AM WARNING YOU. I have a history of stomach problems...from way back in high school when as a 17 yr. old I spent my Thanksgiving holiday in the Anson Hospital having a barium enema. The diagnosis back in 1972 was that I had a "nervous stomach" and I was put on meds for my "problem"....which consisted of going to the bathroom immediately after eating.

Well....Saturday morning was absolutely beautiful! I saw the sun rise and loved the picture it painted until the sun rose high enough to blind me! I stopped at Starbucks in Temple and grabbed my usual venti skinny vanilla latte and lowfat berry muffin. Loved every bite and sip! Anyway, I began to feel like my stomach might act up, but I was looking forward to my trip and I put the "pain" in the back of my mind....telling myself that it would go away. I surprised Lisa by getting to her house at 8:30 in the morning...we hopped in her Explorer and headed the mere 7 miles to the crowds of people who had gathered to buy or barter or browse or binge! We headed to our favorite spot...Junk Gypsies and decided that the prices on t-shirts had sky-rocketed and we just "browsed"! We set out on a journey to find the "cheapest cute stuff" we could find. Before long, we were starving and I decided that some food on my stomach would make me feel better. We found foot long State Fair corn dogs and some ribbon fries and a much need table under a shade! After filling our tummies, we set out in search of a bargain. It didn't take long for me to start looking for a porta-potty. As much as I hate to "go" in one of those things, I knew I HAD to find one. We knew exactly where to find one...there were some located behind a barn and there were shade trees near them....as well as some tables and chairs near (but far enough to be on the safe side). Now....this is where you may want to sign off........

I was sick....really sick....like I was not gonna make it sick! I locked myself into the "yellow box" and started sweating. I really wanted to die....now this sickness I have gives me, you know...the "D" word. And I don't like having "D" in a "yellow box", but there was nothing I could do. I sat and sat and sweated and sweated for about 15 min. Wearily, I shuffled back to where Lisa was sitting and I told her again about how sick I was. And then it hit me again...I had to go back...once again I was in the "hot yellow box" for about 20 minutes....I returned to Lisa when it hit again....and I scooted on back to the "stinky hot yellow box". This time I was sure I was gonna die. I was so hot....I can't believe I feel the need to tell you all this but...I'm thinking it might make you feel better about yourself if you are ever in my shape......well, I was so hot, began to take my clothes off. Off came my shirt and my capris....just sitting there in my bra and panties....sick and sweating. Lisa came to check on me and I actually had her to open the door for me while I sat there...until someone came near. My hair and body was dripping with sweat. I finally dressed (hard to do in one of those things...) and returned to Lisa. About that time, an answered prayers occurred...the lady that lived on the property near the porta potties, drove up. Lisa actually knew her and went over to tell her I was sick and asked if we could go into her house so I could use her bathroom. Honest Injun....I went into a complete stranger's house to go to the bathroom! Oh...it was wonderful....the air conditioner was on and a blast of cold arctic air hit me in the face as I entered the stranger's house. It had to be turned down to at least 55 degrees and I didn't even think twice about the big black pit bulldog that was sitting on the couch when we walked in. It felt wonderful. I sat on normal "potty" in a normal bathroom and I began to feel as if I was gonna survive! After about an hour of being sick....I felt better. The "sickness" always seems to leave as quickly as it arrives. I looked back on the events of that horrid hour and asked myself if I really sat naked in one of those "yellow boxes". Oh...it was bad...I just can't tell you how bad, BUT once we left the lady's house, we set out with a new outlook on life! Poor Lisa...she had to wait on me and my sickness...but thank goodness she was there to open and shut the porta potty door for me! In order to remember my stay in the "yellow box", I found some really cute "yellow box" flip flops and I bought them. They actually made me feel much better!

What is that smell?

I smell like breast milk and spit-up. It's not my breast milk or my spit-up. I've been keeping Madilyn and Denton this weekend so Hillary could go to Austin with her hubby, Dennis for her birthday. She left me about ten 6-8 oz. disposable bags full of breast milk so I could feed Mr. Denton. I put them in the freezer but before I knew it, they were thawing...one by one... in the fridge! He was so good and he didn't seem to mind the bottle he was getting it from at all! But he ate and ate and ate and I was beginning to get worried. What if he drank all his milk??? And then, he spit up an entire bottle on me. It was yellow and curdled. I suspected that this may have been some of the milk from early June that Hill had frozen after he was born....BUT....we didn't have milk to spare! What if he needed more????I began to worry even more. She sent a large container of liquid Similac, but I knew if I had to open it, that it would ruin before he drank it all. So I began to plan......I would get out of the house someway and go to the grocery store. But how the hell was I gonna go anywhere with these little beings in tow. I had not left my house since Friday night when Donald and I took Denton and Madilyn to the football game...which by the way was great fun....we sat with Gina and Denver and Averi....but since Gina is assistant principal, she had to "monitor" the end zones and make sure no one was playing in the end zones (school rules and another blog)...but Averi and Maddie entertained us with cheers. Madilyn is quite the hip shaker!!!! Anyway, once we made it home that night, Madilyn and Denton went straight to bed. And Denton slept til 6:00 the next morning. Averi came over to join us about 9:00 Saturday morning. She wanted pancakes, so while Gina was there to hold Denton, I made pancakes for my grand-daughters! After that...I stayed pretty much 100% busy. I forgot what it was like to have a baby and small children! And at one point in my life, I had a baby, a 9 yr. old, a 14 yr. old, and a 17 yr. old......I was an expert! But OMG, that was years ago!!!! This morning I spent holding that precious baby...I couldn't stand to put him down and let him cry. So I rocked and fed him and burped him and read to the girls and fed him and burped him and changed him and fed him and over and over! Lunch for the girls was a peanut butter and granny's jelly sandwich...chex mix...mandarin oranges...I ate the edges of their leftover sandwiches and three pretzels from the chex mix and four mandarin oranges...I noticed after lunch that I was still in my pajamas. So, I lay Denton down and pulled on a Life is Good t-shirt and my khaki Columbia shorts. The girls were playing "mommy" with several dolls and of course my old cell phones....I was rocking Denton and noticed that Averi and Madilyn were in the other recliner, rocking their babies and "talking" on their cell phones. We all took a nap and I woke up with a greater appreciation for life!!! It was time to feed Denton again....I'm counting "milk bags" and trying to calculate how long they'll last if he eats 6 oz. every 3 hours or 8 oz. every 4 hours....math.......I look down and notice my tshirt has "milk" stains all over it! And I'm beginning to really smell. I've not had a shower since Friday morning and it's about 5:30 p.m. on Saturday by now! The girls are hungry, so I prop Denton in the crook of my left arm and throw a box of chicken nuggets in the microwave, and warm up some macaroni and cheese and open a can of corn to heat on the stove top. The girls chow down like they are in a five star restaurant! I eat 1/2 of Maddie's leftover chicken nugget and a spoonful of corn. I'm beginning to wonder if I've eaten today! Luckily, the girls want dessert later, and I fix them a root beer float! Averi drinks all of hers, but Maddie shares, hmmm, maybe three sips with me!!!! I put the girls in the shower while I get Denton ready for bed. My kitchen is a wreck. There is an empty can of corn, an empty box of chicken nuggets and velveeta mac and cheese all on the counter. Paper plates are on the table.....four dirty bottles are in the sink along with my coffee cup and the empty float cups....kernels of corn are on the floor...and there is a chicken nugget under the kitchen table. I'm tempted to pick it up and eat it....I'm hungry! I don't have time to clean nor any desire. I get the girls out of the shower and put them in their matching jammies and get their beds ready on the floor. We turn "Ice Age" on for the millionth time (today!!!) and I begin to smell my shirt....not good! Worse than that, I'm beginning to wonder if I even put deodorant on this morning. I know I didn't brush my hair all day! No one wants to lay down to sleep except me....I'm tired...and I stink. The girls are fighting over the same mattress that I've put on the floor. They finally crawl up into Dillan's bed....I put Denton in his playpen...and I put two pillows at the end of the baby mattress that I had put on the floor for Maddie....I collapsed on the baby mattress, not caring that my feet were hanging off the end of it. Denton only sleeps about 30 minutes so I get up with him and give him his midnight bottle (only four bags of milk left!). We rock in the recliner and sleep there until about 2:00 a.m. I head back to my baby mattress....he wakes again about 3:00 and we head back to the recliner where we sleep til 5:00...I fall onto my baby mattress not caring that my feet are on the floor! He wakes at 6:00 and the girls follow at 7:00. Donald agrees to watch them while I go to the grocery store and get more milk and some bananas. I still smell like spit up, but I do have on a clean t-shirt and clean shorts. I don't remember if I put on deoderant....again...I've still not showered since Friday morning! The grocery store is freezing...I'm glad I remembered my bra! I grab the food and find a can of powdered Similac...just in case he doesn't like the liquid Similac!!! I return to hungry girls and a hungry baby. We have biscuits and honey/butter for breakfast....I eat...finally! We bathe Denton and lather him lotion. He smells so good and I'm jealous of a 3 month old! Gina picks Averi up about 9:00....Maddie was not too happy about that, but I reminded her it was her mommy's birthday, so she made a birthday card just for Hillary. I decide to go to Alco...a major decision on my part...but we do it! I get them into their carseats and remember that I've still not put on makeup or brushed my hair or taken a shower!!! Who cares???? We make it to Alco and I find Hillary a card and some dish towels (what a crappy gift!!!). But we made it! We survived and soon....with only one bag of breast milk left....Hillary and Dennis return! What a fun weekend we all had!!! Before I knew it, they were pulling out of the driveway, heading back to Waco...leaving me with a sweet smell on my shoulder......no more little ones in the house....no more "Ice Age"....no more singing "The Fox went out on a chilly night"....ohhhh.....I miss them.....maybe I'll go take a shower!!!!