VOMIT=$8.00 tip?????

Last night was a busy evening at Crossfire Cafe....to say the least! Customers were filling the seats and I was the only server. In the midst of all the bustle and hustle, the hostess came running to me telling me that the little girl at table 32 had barfed! Well, I knew exactly who it was, and she wasn't little...she was about 10 and pudgy at that. LeAnne assured me SHE COULD NOT CLEAN IT UP, so I ran to the back to get my "safety gloves" and found some old towels and a black tub! Great...just what I needed. I put my smiley face on and went to the table to find the daddy sitting there with a big grin on his face. Vomit had covered the table. This child had spewed all over the table and all three plates! Obviously she had thrown up her entire dinner, plus her breakfast, lunch and some of her Christmas dinner as well. I began wiping the slimy goo off the table...trying not to add my own vomit to it. There were about 6 tables sitting around me, watching me as I tried to clean and make small talk to dear old dad. He informed me that he and his 4 kids all have a gagging reflex problem. (Really???? Take a barf bag with you, dude!)

Me: I have four children...and I teach school. I'm used to vomit. (NOT like this though!)

Dad: (Leaning back in his chair...sporting a smug look while chewing on a toothpick) Yea....all four of my kids have a gagging problem. One of my sons hates the dentist. All he has to do is see the dentist coming his way and he starts gagging and throwing up.

Me: (I'm sure the dentist hates your son, too!) Oh, really? Well, let me have your plate and I'll clean up underneath it. (He doesn't move....just lets me pick up his plate of vomit, along with his wife's plate and daughter's plate)

Dad: Could you bring me the check and a to go coke for my little girl?

Me: Sure.....Do you need anything else? (like a giant plastic trash bag in case her gagging reflex starts up again in the car?)

I haul the black tub of puke to the back porch....cursing under my breath! The cook staff gave me a look of dismay as I rushed toward the trash bin! I take back the bill and a to go coke. The "little girl" and mom had returned at that point. None of them said "Thanks for cleaning up Donna's puke!" They just left.......and graciously gave me an $8.00 tip. Now normally that is a great tip....but for cleaning up someone else's body functions....I DON'T THINK SO!
I began disinfecting the table....wiping it over and over....spray and wipe...get a new towel...spray and wipe....repeat, repeat, repeat!
Luckily, the restaurant began clearing out....good...hopefully no more pukers were left!

Honestly folks.......................................................$8.00???????

Oh....Happy New Year!